


A Time for Family

by RetroactiveCon



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Holidays, Jewish Leonard Snart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:42:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21707668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RetroactiveCon/pseuds/RetroactiveCon
Summary: Axel makes a soft noise of dawning comprehension. “Oh! A dish to pass like a dish to pass around the table! I thought it meant a dish that, when it’s served, everyone looks at and says ‘I’ll pass.’”
Comments: 1
Kudos: 36





	A Time for Family

Leonard is minding a hot skillet when there’s a knock on the door. Without looking, he yells, “Your turn, trainwreck!” 

“Jerk!” Lisa hollers in reply. Nonetheless, there’s the creak of the door hinges. Hartley’s voice echoes through the house. 

“A dish to pass, as requested.”

“Oooh, sweet potatoes!” Lisa drifts into the kitchen, carrying a pan laden with mashed sweet potatoes crusted in brown sugar. Leonard has to admit it looks good. (He wasn’t entirely sure Hartley could cook.) “I don't think I'm going to share these. They're mine now." 

The surface of a nearby tray ripples. Leonard just has time to leap away before Sam and Rosa step into the kitchen. “Love of—” He cuts himself off. “Not even a warning text?” 

“Sorry!” Rosa’s face is bright red. Leonard doesn’t know whether to interpret it as embarrassment or frustration. Her next sentence makes it clear. “Sam forgot to make the stuffing so I had to do it—”

“And then she yelled at me—”

Hartley tactfully removes the contested dish of stuffing from Rosa’s grasp. Leonard holds up a weary hand. “What’s done is done, now can I please get back to my latkes?” 

Rosa pulls Sam away from the stove. Leonard turns the trio of frying latkes and evaluates them. They’re a little darker than he usually prefers, but that’s all right; Mick will like them. 

Over the course of the next half an hour, the other Rogues arrive: Mick, bearing Brussels sprouts and roasted baby potatoes; Shawna, with a cold macaroni salad that Leonard can’t wait to try; Mark, carrying a dish of thinly sliced turkey meat; and, with a BANG that rattles the house, Axel, carrying a covered dish he claims is dessert. (He won’t let them look.) Once everyone has arrived, Leonard herds them to the table, settles in his chair, and bids them, “Dig in.”

There isn't much conversation as the Rogues serve themselves. As he'd hoped, Mick piles his plate high with latkes. This makes up for Hartley, who is apparently of the mind that he can't have two potato dishes in one night and opts to only take the roasted baby potatoes. Leonard helps himself to the macaroni salad, which he's been eager to try since catching a glimpse of it. A bite confirms that it's as good as it looks. “Shawna, this is amazing.” 

She preens. “Thank you. I love it, so I figured what better to bring?”

Axel makes a soft noise of dawning comprehension. “Oh! 'A dish to pass' like a dish to pass around the table! I thought it meant a dish that, when it’s served, everyone looks at and says ‘I’ll pass.’” 

The others exchange appropriately alarmed expressions. If Leonard was nervous about Axel’s dessert before, his concern is doubled now. Sam mutters, “If you’ll excuse me, there’s something I have to do.”

“I wouldn’t open that dish,” Lisa murmurs. 

“It’s not rigged!” Axel is too loud in his hurry to reassure them. At his side, Hartley clasps a hand over his ear. “Sorry.”

Sam returns so quickly that Leonard can’t fathom what he went to do, except perhaps dispose of Axel’s dessert. Rosa welcomes him with a quick kiss and a quiet “What did you do?”

“Saved our lives, probably.” He takes his seat and stuffs a baby potato into his mouth. 

In order to prevent any damage to Axel’s pride, Leonard guides the conversation to other topics. “Boo, you and Lisa pulled a heist together and Lisa has resolutely refused to tell me how it went. Was it that bad?”

“Nope!” Shawna says brightly. “It was that good!” Lisa must kick her or step on her foot, because she winces. “Ow—well, okay, the heist itself was kind of mediocre…”

“Shawna, shut up,” Lisa hisses. Leonard’s eyes widen. Oh, _that’s_ why she won’t say anything. He’s not about to judge her for getting frisky on a heist—he knows what an adrenaline high can feel like—but he would prefer not to hear any more.

“Wait,” Mick rumbles. “Little Smarty is getting some with Boo?”

Lisa’s “I’m not ‘Little Smarty,’ Mick!” overlaps Leonard’s muttered “Why did I even ask?” Shawna sinks down low in her seat and devotes her attention to her plate, regret written all over her face. 

“So!” Axel says a little too loudly. “Are we doing a white elephant? Because I brought a gift just in case…”

Leonard glances around the table. He hadn’t planned on it, but there are various nods. “It seems so.” 

“Great!” Axel does a little fist pump. Beside him, Hartley gives an affectionate eye-roll. 

After everyone has eaten their fill, they migrate to the living room for the white elephant gift exchange. Leonard darts upstairs in search of something he can give. It doesn’t take him long to lay hands on a statuette of a cat he’d stolen only because the poorly-carved expression on its face had made him burst out laughing in the middle of the heist. Hopefully its next owner gets as much of a laugh out of it as he had. 

Upon returning to the living room, it’s fairly easy to guess who’s contributed each gift. Axel’s is poorly wrapped in brightly-colored paper; Sam’s is wrapped in metallic silver gift wrap, and Rosa’s is next to it in a green-and-gold bag. Hartley’s is in a green cloth bag, Mark’s patterned with snowflakes, and Shawna’s must be the pleasant navy bag. Lisa’s is wrapped, of course, in gold paper; Mick’s has been stuffed in a paper grocery bag. All of them are regarding the gifts with dismay. 

“We’re pathetic,” Hartley decides. “Can’t put aside our gimmicks for one night.” 

“Speak for yourself.” Leonard holds up his gift, which is stuffed inside the first gift bag he’d laid hands on. Since it happens to be a horrific red, patterned with reindeer, nothing could be further from his ‘gimmick.’ “I don’t even know how this atrocity made its way into my home.” 

Because all of them have chosen such distinctive wrapping, it’s decided that they’ll take turns choosing a gift with their eyes closed. Through this method, Lisa ends up with Mark’s gift, Shawna with Hartley’s, Axel with Mick’s, Mark with Rosa’s, Sam with Leonard’s, Rosa with Shawna’s, Hartley with Axel’s (Leonard pretends not to see Axel nudge it into his hand), Mick with Lisa’s, and Leonard with Sam’s. Upon unwrapping it, Leonard gains an old and bizarre snowman statuette that, when poked, proclaims, “Only twenty-five days until Christmas!” 

“Uh, sorry,” Sam says. “You can trade that. Also it counts down when you plug ornaments into its tree, but I kinda lost the ornaments.” 

Leonard glances at Mick, who’s just unwrapped something titled “Heist Mixtape.” If anyone should have to endure his sister’s bizarre music taste, it’s him. Without a word, he holds out the snowman. Mick trades him gladly. “I don’t know which will be more annoying,” he rumbles by way of explanation. 

From the other side of the circle, there’s a startled laugh; then Hartley holds up a rubber chicken with a cry of, “Behold, a man!” Axel claps. Mark rolls his eyes. 

“Only you would make a terrible philosophy reference with a rubber chicken.” 

“Technically, he was discussing phylogeny, so it’s a biology reference.” Hartley hurries into the kitchen, returns with a paper towel, and holds out his hand to Mark. “Can I borrow the blue and pink from your nice new marker set?” 

In bewilderment, Mark hands over the requested colors. Hartley sits down, colors for a moment, and proceeds to tie a trans flag bandanna around the chicken’s neck. 

“So is it time for dessert now?” Lisa asks warily. 

“It…can be.” Leonard is by no means eager to see what sort of dessert Axel has concocted, but now that Lisa has brought it up, they might as well try it. 

“I bought pie!” Sam disappears into the kitchen and returns with apple and chocolate cream pies. Rosa murmurs approval. Axel’s face falls. 

“That’s an option,” Leonard concedes, “but let’s at least see what Axel took the time to prepare.” If he’s reading the kid right, Axel is more concerned with their initial reaction to seeing his dubious dessert than with them actually trying it. 

The dish is fetched from the kitchen. Leonard opens it with a tasteful flourish (he’s not above a little showmanship in tense moments). Everyone stares in horror at the contents. “Is that…pudding?” Shawna ventures. 

The pudding, if pudding it is, wobbles ominously. Its vibrant purple surface is randomly studded with lumps that, thankfully, don’t seem to be moving. Nothing in the world could compel Leonard to put it in his mouth. 

“…I’ll pass?” Hartley ventures. 

Leonard nods and asks, deadpan, “Does anybody want some pie?” 

To their collective surprise, Axel brightens and claps delightedly. “That was perfect!” he proclaims. “Your _face,_ the question—now I know what I’m gonna say anytime anyone serves me something disgusting…”

Leonard chuckles. He’s glad to have amused the kid. 

Two minutes later, they’ve settled back around the table, each with a piece of pie (or, in Mick’s case, two). Leonard glances around at everyone, feeling perfectly content. Lisa leans over and murmurs, “You’ve got this weird thing going on with your face, jerk. I think you’re smiling, but it’s not your evil Rogue smile.” 

“I’m just happy,” he admits. When she arches an eyebrow, he adds, “Happy Hanukkah, Lise.” 

“You too, Lenny.” 

(Because the affirming-siblings moment can’t possibly last, she then daubs chocolate cream on his nose. He opts not to retaliate. If he’s the patriarch of this unusual family, it’s up to him to set a good example, and starting a food fight is most assuredly not.)


End file.
